Why adults stop having fun (and how to bring it back)
You can have fun and be cold at the same time. Clearly.
Let’s be honest: When did fun become something you needed to earn?
I was brushing crumbs off my laptop during yet another “working lunch” when it hit me: I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done something just for fun.
Not fun like “mildly enjoyable” or “technically self-care.”
Actual fun. Laugh-out-loud, off-script, life-feels-light kind of fun.
And it wasn’t just a bad week. It had been a while.
If you’ve felt that too, like you’ve misplaced your spark somewhere between your inbox and the laundry pile, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re just overdue for a reconnection to your fun self.
Let’s talk about why this happens and how to bring it back without overhauling your whole life.
The slow fade of fun
Most people don’t stop having fun on purpose. It’s more like a slow drift.
You swap spontaneous plans for structured calendars.
You get praised for being productive, not playful.
You become the one who gets things done. (And you do. Constantly.)
You’re tired. So tired.
Eventually, fun starts to feel… irresponsible. Or childish. Or something for later.
But here’s the truth:
Fun didn’t leave because you changed. It left because you stopped making space for it.
What fun actually is (and why you need it)
Most adults define fun as something optional. Something you do after the “real” stuff is done.
Let’s correct that.
What is fun really?
Fun is:
Playful engagement
Emotional freedom
A moment where your actions and enjoyment are fully aligned
A break from obligation, performance, and mental noise
Fun isn’t childish. It’s how your brain and body recharge.
What fun does for your brain
Interrupts stress loops. Fun stops the constant loop of rehearse–perform–recover.
Activates reward systems. When you do something enjoyable, your brain releases dopamine, reinforcing motivation and resilience.
Encourages flow. Fun increases focus, creativity, and satisfaction, without requiring an outcome.
Lowers the threat response. Laughter and play tell your nervous system: It’s okay to feel safe now. If you’ve been living in alert mode, fun is one of the fastest ways to signal “off duty.”
Signs your life is fun-deprived
Everything feels like an effort
You’re always “on,” even during rest
You default to numbing (scrolling, snacking, zoning out)
You think, “I don’t even know what I enjoy anymore.”
You feel disconnected from your creativity, curiosity, or personality
What happens when fun is missing
Without fun:
Burnout happens faster and hits harder
Rest feels empty because there’s no contrast
You lose motivation, but can’t name why
Relationships shift into obligation
Your world gets smaller, quieter, flatter
What happens when you invite fun back
With intentional fun:
You recover faster from stress
Your mood improves, sometimes within minutes
You make better decisions (because you’re not running on fumes)
You remember who you are outside your responsibilities
You start to feel alive again, not just “functional”
Quick reframe: Fun is not the reward
Old belief: “I’ll have fun after I finish everything.”
New truth: “Fun is part of what helps me finish anything well.”
I guess living in actual survival mode can be fun for some people…
Three reasons fun disappears
1. You’ve been in survival mode
If life’s felt like a string of problems to solve, fun is the first thing to get pushed off the list.
Survival mode has no space for joy.
Ask yourself:
When’s the last time you did something that made you laugh?
2. You wait for someone else to initiate it
You’ve decided you’re not “the fun one.” You wait for someone else to make the plan, suggest the idea, or bring the energy.
But when no one does… nothing happens.
Ask yourself:
What would it feel like to go first?
3. You feel like you have to earn it
This one hides under the surface. You’ll enjoy yourself after the work is done.
Except the work is never done.
Ask yourself:
What would change if you saw fun as essential, not extra?
How to convince yourself you need this
You might be thinking, “It’s not a big deal. Life’s just busy right now.”
Or, “Other people get to have fun. That’s not realistic for me.”
Let’s pause that line of thinking. Let me ask you:
Do you ever feel disconnected from yourself?
Do you envy people who seem to laugh more easily or enjoy small things?
If someone asked what brings you joy… would you know?
Do you constantly feel like you’re “on,” but rarely feel recharged?
You don’t need to wait for a vacation. You need to feel human again.
Fun does that. In five minutes. In small ways. Right where you are.
How do you bring it back?
You start by lowering the bar.
Not because you’re lazy, but because your brain has been in survival mode, and fun needs to feel safe and simple to get through the door.
Tiny mission: Reclaim one moment this week
Pick one moment this week and claim it.
Make it yours. Just for fun. Just because.
It doesn’t have to be profound or productive.
It just has to feel good. That’s enough.
Try one of these this week:
Narrate a boring task in a ridiculous voice
Watch a cartoon you loved as a kid
Text someone a weird idea and say, “Want to try this?”
Make something badly (and show no one, or everyone)
Sit outside and count how many things make you smile
Ready to test-drive fun again?
If you want a no-pressure way to ease back into joy, try the 15-Day Challenge: Bring the Fun Back.
Each day gives you a short, specific task to help you remember what fun feels like and how to make it part of your real life again.
You don’t need a new schedule.
You just need a spark.
Let’s start there.
What’s one tiny thing you can do this week to bring the fun back into your daily life? Drop it in the comments.
New around here? Welcome.
At Intendify, we break life down into 12 key areas and offer guided paths to help you reflect, plan, and take action—so you can start living more intentionally, one step at a time.
It’s like having a life coach in your pocket, minus the awkward eye contact.
