Spirituality doesn't have to look the way you think it does

I can’t help but to focus on the jewelry. I need help.

One of the biggest reasons I think people shy away from spirituality is because they're afraid they're doing it wrong.

Maybe you picture someone who meditates every morning before sunrise. Or someone who belongs to a particular religion. Or someone who seems to have life all figured out and talks about "finding their higher purpose" as though it arrived neatly wrapped with a bow.

If that's what spirituality is supposed to look like, it's easy to decide it's probably not for you.

I don't think that's true. To me, spirituality has never been about having all the answers. It's about paying attention.

“Your life is more than solving problems.”

Paying attention to the moments that make you stop and feel connected to something beyond your endless to-do list. Sometimes that's standing in the woods after a fresh snowfall. Sometimes it's laughing so hard with someone you love that you forget to check your phone. Sometimes it's sitting quietly with a cup of tea while the rest of the house is still asleep.

Those moments don't solve all your problems, but they remind you that your life is more than solving problems.

What does spirituality actually mean?

I don't think there's one definition. Ask ten people, and you'll probably hear ten different answers. For one person, spirituality is prayer. For someone else, it's spending every Saturday hiking. For another, it's creating art, volunteering, practicing gratitude, or simply feeling connected to the people around them. The practices look different, but the feeling underneath is often the same. It's that quiet sense that you're part of something bigger than yourself.

That's why I don't think spirituality is something you "achieve." It's something you notice.

Why is it so easy to lose touch with it?

Most of us spend our days solving problems. We're answering emails, paying bills, folding laundry, driving people to appointments, making dinner, planning ahead, and trying to remember what we forgot. And there's nothing wrong with any of those things, but when every day becomes about managing life, it's easy to stop experiencing it.

Spirituality doesn't usually disappear because we stop believing. It disappears because we stop noticing. We stop looking up at the stars. We stop wandering through the woods without checking the time. We stop sitting quietly long enough to hear our own thoughts.

Life becomes so full of doing that we forget how to simply be.

How do you begin exploring your own spirituality?

I think the best place to start is with curiosity instead of certainty. You don't need to commit to a belief system or suddenly become a different person. Just start paying attention to what makes you feel grounded.

For you, that might be walking beside the ocean. It might be journaling after a difficult day. It might be reading about different philosophies or sitting quietly with your morning coffee before everyone else wakes up.

If creativity helps you lose track of time, that's worth paying attention to.

If music makes you feel connected to something you can't quite explain, that's worth paying attention to.

If being in nature makes you breathe a little deeper, that's worth paying attention to.

You don't have to force meaning; you can simply notice where it already exists.

There's no right way to be spiritual

I think we spend too much time worrying about whether we're doing life correctly. Spirituality isn't another test you have to pass. It's not about collecting the "right" rituals or believing the "right" things. It's about creating space in your life for wonder, reflection, gratitude, connection, and whatever helps you remember that you're more than your responsibilities.

That journey will probably look different from mine, and it should, because your spirituality isn't meant to be a copy of someone else's. It's meant to help you feel more like yourself.

What does spirituality mean to you?

Before diving into practices, it’s worth reflecting on what spirituality means to you. It might mean:

• Connection. Whether it’s connecting with others, nature, or a higher power, spirituality often involves feeling part of something bigger than yourself.

• Mindfulness. For many, spirituality is about being fully present in the moment and cultivating inner peace.

• Growth. It can also be a path of self-discovery, helping you explore your spirituality on a deeper level.

Take a moment to ask yourself what resonates most for you.

Small ways to explore your spirituality

This picture gave me a whole new perspective of the phrase, "Don't step off the trail!"

Exploring spirituality can start with simple practices that fit into your existing life. Here are a few ideas:

• Spend time in nature. There’s something grounding about stepping outside, whether it’s a walk in the woods or simply sitting in your backyard and observing the world around you. Nature offers a powerful way to explore your spirituality without requiring any elaborate rituals.

• Practice gratitude. Take a few minutes each day to jot down things you’re thankful for. Gratitude shifts your perspective and fosters a sense of abundance, helping you connect with your spiritual self.

• Try mindful breathing. You don’t need a full meditation practice to experience the benefits of mindfulness. Start by focusing on your breath for just 2–3 minutes a day. (Trust me, your mind will thank you.) This small act can help you explore your spirituality in moments of stillness.

• Explore different perspectives. Read a book or watch a documentary about a spiritual practice or philosophy that’s unfamiliar to you. Even if it doesn’t resonate, it can expand your understanding and inspire new ways to explore your spirituality.

• Embrace creative expression. Painting, journaling, or even dancing can be deeply spiritual acts, helping you connect with your emotions and inner self. Creativity often opens doors to exploring spirituality in unexpected ways.

Michelle Arseneault is a certified life coach and instructional designer who loves helping women understand why life feels harder than it needs to, and what to do about it.

“I believe small, thoughtful changes usually have a bigger impact than dramatic overhauls. Around here, you'll usually find me exploring the psychology behind everyday life, creating practical tools, or asking questions that help you see things from a new angle.”

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