Find meaning in a way that actually fits your life
Spirituality doesn't have to look particularly spiritual. Sometimes it's simply noticing where you feel connected.
This is what retirement should look like!
Most mornings, I drink my coffee on my front porch.
It's nothing elaborate. There's no meditation practice involved, and I'm definitely not sitting there waiting for the universe to reveal the meaning of life before I finish my first cup.
I just like being there.
I watch my neighbourhood wake up. I see people heading out for their morning walks. I notice the birds and squirrels going about their business. Sometimes someone stops to say hello. After living here for a while, you start recognizing the rhythms of the place and the people and animals who are part of it.
I feel connected to them.
“The older I get, the more I think spirituality comes down to something surprisingly simple: connection.”
I get that same feeling when my husband and I walk our dog around the neighbourhood. We run into other people walking their dogs and share those tiny conversations that happen between neighbours. Sometimes we encounter Georgie, a cat who walks around the block with his people while complaining loudly about the experience the entire way.
He could presumably go home at any time. He does not.
These aren't profound moments. I'm not having spiritual revelations on the sidewalk while Georgie yells at everybody. But I think they are part of my spirituality. Because the older I get, the more I think spirituality comes down to something surprisingly simple: connection.
Spirituality doesn't have to mean religion
For some people, that connection comes through religion. Their relationship with God, worship, prayer, religious community, or traditions gives them a sense of belonging and meaning.
For other people, spirituality has nothing to do with religion.
They might experience that connection in nature, through family or community, while making music or art, by helping other people, or during those occasional moments when they become aware that they're one very small part of a very large world.
I don't think one version is more spiritual than another. What matters is the feeling underneath it: I am connected to something beyond the little bubble of my own thoughts, responsibilities, and problems.
That's what sitting on my porch gives me. For a little while, I'm not thinking only about what I need to accomplish that day. I'm part of a neighbourhood that's waking up around me.
You may already have a spiritual life
I think this is where people sometimes make spirituality harder than it needs to be.
I love the world most when leaves change colors. You know the feeling of needing to wear a sweater? My favorite!
If you decide you want more spirituality in your life, you might immediately start thinking about things you should do. Maybe you should meditate. Start journaling. Go to church. Learn about different spiritual traditions. Spend more time in nature.
Any of those things might be meaningful to you. But before adding another activity to your life, look at what's already there.
When do you feel connected?
Maybe it's when your whole family is sitting around a table, and everyone is talking at once. Maybe it's when you're alone in the woods. Maybe it's volunteering for a cause you care about and realizing you're part of something bigger than yourself.
It could be standing beside the ocean, singing with other people, working in your garden, praying, looking at the stars, learning about your ancestors, or listening to a piece of music that makes you feel understood in a way you can't quite explain.
You don't necessarily need to create a spiritual practice. You may need to recognize the moments that are already spiritual for you.
Connection can give ordinary life more meaning
There's something easy to miss when you're busy getting through your days. Your world can start getting very small. Work. Errands. Bills. Chores. Appointments. Screens. Whatever needs your attention next.
Connection pulls you outside of that little circle.
When I sit on my porch and watch my neighbourhood, I'm reminded that there are lives unfolding all around me. When Todd and I stop to talk with another dog walker, we're participating in our community in the tiniest possible way. When Georgie trots past complaining about his terrible circumstances, we're now part of whatever neighbourhood drama he's starring in that morning.
None of this solves my problems. But, incredibly, it seems to give them some perspective.
I think that's part of what people are often looking for when they say they want more meaning in their lives. They don't necessarily need a grand purpose. Sometimes they need to feel connected to people, places, beliefs, nature, or communities that remind them they're part of something beyond themselves.
You can build more connection into your life
Once you start thinking about spirituality as connection, exploring it becomes much less intimidating.
You don't have to decide exactly what you believe about God, the universe, or what happens after we die. You certainly can explore those questions if they matter to you, but you don't need answers before you can experience connection.
Instead, start paying attention to where it already happens.
If you feel connected in nature, spend more time outside. If your faith gives you that feeling, make more room for prayer, worship, study, or your religious community. If helping other people connects you to something meaningful, volunteer. If family traditions connect you to the generations before you, keep them alive.
And if drinking coffee on your front porch makes you feel part of the small world immediately around you, maybe that's worth protecting too.
Spirituality doesn't have to become another thing you're trying to do correctly. It can simply be something you notice and make room for.
Before you go...
Think about the last time you felt genuinely connected.
Connected to another person. To your community. To nature. To your faith. To your family history. To humanity. To yourself. Or to something you can't quite name.
Figure out what you were doing, then make a little more room for it.
Michelle Arseneault is a certified life coach and instructional designer who loves helping women understand why life feels harder than it needs to, and what to do about it.
“I believe small, thoughtful changes usually have a bigger impact than dramatic overhauls. Around here, you'll usually find me exploring the psychology behind everyday life, creating practical tools, or asking questions that help you see things from a new angle.”
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