A beginner-friendly guide to understanding and slowing down impulse buying
This guide isn’t theory. It’s shaped by years of coaching sessions, real conversations, and the practical shifts that people tested until they found what actually works.
Stop buying things you don’t actually want.
Most people think impulse spending means they “aren’t disciplined enough.” That’s not the truth. If you’ve ever opened a package and wondered how it ended up at your door, or looked at a receipt and felt a little sick, you’re not alone. Impulse purchases almost always come from emotional pressure, decision fatigue, or habits you didn’t notice forming.
Once you understand what’s going on underneath the impulse, you can change things.
This guide will help you do exactly that. It walks you through the common thoughts people have right before they spend impulsively, explains why each one happens, and gives you small, doable wins to shift those habits, step by step, in a way that feels doable and realistic.
Click the thought below that resonates the most with your situation to jump to that section or read them all to get the most out of this guide.
“I don’t know why I buy things I don’t need.”
Why the brain chooses shopping
Your brain is constantly scanning for the fastest path to relief. Shopping checks all the boxes:
It’s easy
It’s rewarding
It gives you a sense of control
It offers novelty
It doesn’t require emotional vulnerability
You don’t have to ask for help, set a boundary, or slow down. You click a button and feel better for a moment. That’s powerful when you’re running on empty.
When someone says, “I don’t know why I buy things I don’t need,” the real issue is usually hidden. Most impulse purchases are triggered by four emotional states. Let’s slow those down for a moment so you can see what’s actually going on.
1. Stress or burnout
When you feel stretched thin, your brain looks for fast relief. Shopping gives a quick sense of control: you choose the item, you complete the purchase, and for a moment, the world feels manageable again. That tiny hit of “I did something” feels comforting when everything else feels too big. The problem is that the relief fades quickly, so the cycle repeats.
2. Boredom or overstimulation
These seem opposite, but they lead to the same behaviour:
When you’re bored, your brain wants something new and interesting.
When you’re overstimulated, your brain wants a distraction that feels easy. Shopping fits both needs perfectly because it offers novelty without effort. You don’t have to think, plan, or risk anything. You just scroll, click, and get a small spark of excitement.
3. A need for comfort
Sometimes the day feels heavy, or you feel low in a way you can’t quite explain. Buying something cozy or cute can feel like a tiny emotional hug. The item becomes a symbol: “I deserve something nice.” It’s not the object itself, it’s the moment of care you’re craving.
4. Feeling unappreciated or overwhelmed
When you spend a lot of time caring for others, meeting expectations, or keeping things running, it’s easy to feel unseen. A small purchase becomes a way to acknowledge yourself when no one else is doing it. It’s a quiet form of “Someone finally did something for me,” even if that someone is you.
One client of mine used to stop at a home decor store every Friday after work. She told herself she was “just browsing,” but she almost always came home with something small: a new mug, a candle, a decorative pillow. She didn’t even love most of them. What she actually loved was the ten quiet minutes walking through the store alone, where nobody needed anything from her.
Her purchases weren’t random. They were the only moments in her week when she felt calm and cared for. Once she recognized that pattern, she added a weekly “quiet hour” at home where she lit a candle, had tea, and read. The impulse stops became far less frequent, not because she forced herself to stop spending, but because her need for comfort was finally met.
Start with these quick wins
1. Add one small comfort ritual to your week
A solo walk, tea before bed, a tidy 10-minute reset, anything that feels like self-care.
Why it works: It gives your brain a healthier “pressure release,” so shopping stops being the quickest fix.
2. Track your mood before you shop
Every time you get the urge to shop, open your notes app and write: “What am I feeling right now?”
Why it works: Once you name the feeling, the impulse loses its grip.
3. Build a “comfort list” to replace impulse shopping
Write down at least five things that soothe you without costing money.
Why it works: Your brain will only choose alternatives if you’ve already identified them.
TOOLS AND RESOURCES
Books worth exploring:
*Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke: Explores the exciting new scientific discoveries that explain why the relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain . . . and what to do about it.
*Heads-up: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend tools and resources I genuinely believe are helpful. Thank you for supporting the work I do here.
“I didn’t mean to spend that much.”
This thought usually comes from a mismatch between your intention and the environment you’re in. Most people underestimate how many traps are built into online shopping (and in-person shopping, for that matter): urgency messaging, shiny offers, limited-time deals, reward points, and “only 2 left” banners.
Some well-known psychological tricks that make us buy more than we intended:
FOMO: Fear of missing out pushes people to buy things they weren’t even looking for.
Sunk cost bias: Once the cart is started, it feels easier to “just finish checking out.”
Reward stacking: Free shipping thresholds, reward points, or “spend $20 more and get ___” lead to extra items.
End-of-day fatigue: Your decision-making skills are weaker when you're tired, and stores know it.
I had a reader tell me she would browse online boutiques after the kids went to bed as a way to unwind. She often woke up the next morning, shocked at her order total. It wasn’t just a lack of discipline. Her exhaustion, plus a highly persuasive website design, contributed to her overspending.
Once she switched to a morning “window shop and save” routine, her spending dropped overnight (literally).
Start with these quick wins
Shop only in daylight: Make a personal rule: No purchases after 7 PM.
Why this works: Your decision-making is sharper earlier in the day.
Remove your saved credit cards: Make checkout slightly inconvenient.
Why this works: The extra 20 seconds gives your brain time to wake up.
Move tempting apps off your home screen: Put Amazon, Shein, Temu, etc. inside a folder labeled “Pause.”
Why this works: That tiny friction point slows your reflex spending.
“Buying things makes me feel better… but only for a minute.”
This is one of the most honest and revealing thoughts clients often share during our conversations. They’re not simply chasing the physical item itself; what they’re truly after is the fleeting feeling right before the inevitable crash. That brief moment of “click and relief” feels like a fresh breath of air, a small lift of the spirit… until, eventually, it fades.
Here’s what’s really happening underneath the surface:
Dopamine spike: Your brain naturally rewards novelty and new experiences. That package or purchase becomes a tiny spark of excitement and pleasure, a small dopamine boost in your day.
Avoidance: Shopping can serve as a distraction, delaying uncomfortable feelings, challenging conversations, or difficult decisions you might be trying to put off.
Self-soothing without tools: If someone hasn’t developed healthy ways to regulate their nervous system or manage stress, spending money can start to feel like the least-destructive option for calming anxiety or distress.
Identity boosting: Many people buy items that help them imagine, or even create, a more put-together, fun, or creative version of themselves, giving a temporary sense of validation or growth.
Understanding these layers can help you begin to change the relationship between your feelings and your spending habits in a more intentional, compassionate way.
A client once told me she kept buying planners because they made her feel organized, without actually doing the organizing. Once she realized the purchases were a stand-in for the person she was trying to become, she shifted to a simple Sunday morning planning ritual. Funnily enough, now she uses a simple binder with printable planning sheets and has no desire to purchase another planner.
Start with these quick wins
Do a 5-minute nervous system reset before buying: Examples: deep breathing, stepping outside, stretching, walking to the kitchen for water.
Why this works: It calms the emotional spike that creates urgency.
Pause and ask: “What am I hoping this purchase will give me?”
Why this works: The brain becomes less reactive when you identify the actual need you’re trying to fill.
Replace the hit with a different kind of novelty: Watch a new short video, try a new recipe, take a different route for a walk.
Why this works: It scratches the novelty itch without spending money.
“I was just treating myself.”
There’s nothing wrong with celebrating yourself. But when “treating yourself” becomes the only consistent form of self-care, spending increases, and resentment usually follows.
What’s underneath this thought:
Lack of genuine rest: People buy small comforts when they don’t get real recharge time.
Feeling unappreciated: Purchasing becomes a small form of self-reward. Your inner voice says, “I deserve this.”
Habit loops: If every stressful moment ends in a treat, the brain learns to expect it.
Reward without boundaries: A treat is supposed to be occasional… not daily life support.
One mom shared that every Sunday she’d “treat herself” to online shopping because it was the only time she wasn’t doing something for someone else. Once she added two hours of genuine alone time on Saturday mornings, her need to “treat” herself dropped dramatically. The craving wasn’t for a product. It was for time and space to be herself.
Start with these quick wins
Define what a “treat” actually is: Set a monthly treat budget or choose specific occasions.
Why this works: It turns the habit back into an intentional choice.
Replace the ritual with a new one: Instead of online browsing on Sunday, take a long shower, journal, or make a fancy breakfast.
Why this works: The ritual stays, but the spending doesn’t.
Plan real rest into your week: Schedule one non-negotiable hour (every day!).
Why this works: You get the reward you were trying to buy.
“I thought I’d use it…”
This thought often appears with hobby supplies, clothes bought for “When I lose weight,” organization tools, or planners waiting to be filled. It’s not about laziness or lack of willpower; rather, it’s your brain picturing a better, more motivated version of yourself and shopping with that future self in mind.
What’s really happening here involves a few psychological patterns:
Identity shaping: Buying these items feels like a step toward becoming the person you aspire to be.
Unrealistic optimism: Your brain naturally assumes that future-you will have more time, energy, and discipline to use these things effectively.
Emotional gap-filling: These purchases temporarily fill the void where clarity, direction, or motivation is missing.
For example, a client once shared that she bought three different sets of workout clothes “to motivate herself,” even though she wasn’t actually exercising regularly. When she finally acknowledged that just buying more clothes didn’t get her moving, she focused on setting one tiny habit instead: a simple 10-minute walk three times a week. In this case, the clothes alone weren’t the solution; the real change came from creating a small, actionable plan.
Start with these quick wins
Use the “90-second preview” rule: Imagine yourself using the item. If you can’t answer how, when, and where you’ll use it, skip it.
Why this works: It grounds the fantasy in real life.
Borrow or test first: Before buying craft supplies, fitness gear, or decor, try a sample version.
Why this works: You see whether the desire sticks.
Set a mini-goal first, buy the thing later: Example: Do three workouts before buying new gear.
Why this works: You reinforce the actual behaviour, not the fantasy.
TOOLS AND RESOURCES
Books worth exploring:
*Start Finishing by Charlie Gilkey: Provides a system for transforming your ideas into projects and shows you how to address the challenges you face by giving each project the time, energy, and attention it needs.
*Heads-up: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend tools and resources I genuinely believe are helpful. Thank you for supporting the work I do here.
“It was such a good deal… it felt wrong to pass it up.”
This is one of the most common impulse-spending triggers, especially for beginners who are trying to “be good with money” but don’t yet have a clear sense of what value actually means.
Here’s what’s happening beneath the surface:
The brain confuses “saving money” with “making a smart choice.": Your brain gets a small hit of pride when it thinks it's outsmarting the system.
Sales create false urgency: A ticking timer or “final sale” sign pushes you into quick action, not wise action.
The discount becomes the focus, not the item itself: Most people don’t ask, “Do I genuinely want this?” Instead, the brain asks, “Am I missing out on a deal?”
A scarcity mindset kicks in: If someone grew up with limited money or lived through tight financial seasons, low prices can feel emotionally comforting.
A client once told me she bought four pairs of shoes during a 40% off sale… even though she wasn’t really in love with any of them. She admitted the real reason later: “My mom always told me to buy things only when they’re cheap.” That old message shaped her behaviour more than she realized.
When she started asking herself, “Would I want this at full price?”, her impulse purchases dropped dramatically.
Start with these quick wins
The full-price test: Ask yourself, “Would I be excited about this if it wasn’t on sale?”
Why this works: It shifts focus from price to genuine desire.
Set a monthly “sale budget”: A small amount just for fun deals.
Why this works: It scratches the itch without blowing your plans.
Screenshot → wait 24 hours: Screenshot or take a picture of the deal instead of buying right away. Revisit it tomorrow.
Why this works: You will be able to see the item clearly without the pressure of the sale.
TOOLS AND RESOURCES
Books worth exploring:
*The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz: Why too many “great deals” overwhelm us.
*Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin: Helps you understand true value vs. perceived value.
*Heads-up: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to make a purchase, at no extra cost to you. I only recommend tools and resources I genuinely believe are helpful. Thank you for supporting the work I do here.
Podcasts worth exploring:
Afford Anything (Paula Pant): Episodes on values-based spending.
The Financial Diet Podcast: Practical episodes on emotional shopping and consumer traps.
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If impulse buying often leaves you feeling stressed or confused, know that you are not failing in any way. It simply means you haven’t yet discovered the right tools or gained the clarity needed to manage your spending habits effectively. Once you begin to understand the reasons behind your impulsive purchases, you can start to change your behavior gradually, taking it step by step.
There’s no need to overhaul everything at once. Just dedicate a little time, use some straightforward tools, and apply a bit more focus than before. With patience and persistence, you absolutely can make this positive change.
Frequently asked questions (FAQ) about impulse buying
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Impulse buying is when you purchase something without planning to, often in response to a feeling or a trigger in the moment. You did not intend to buy it before you saw it, scrolled past it, or opened the app.
It usually feels fast and a bit automatic. You might think, “It was on sale,” “I deserved a treat,” or “I’ll figure out the money part later.” The key sign is that there was no intentional pause to ask, “Do I actually want this, and does it fit my priorities?”
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A good rule of thumb is to look at the impact, not just the number of purchases. It may be a problem if you:
feel regret, shame, or stress after buying
avoid looking at your bank account or card statements
regularly buy things you do not use or even forget you bought
feel like money “disappears,” and you cannot explain where it went
If your spending is getting in the way of goals you care about, like paying down debt, building savings, or feeling calmer with money, it is worth paying attention to.
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No. The goal is not to remove all spontaneity from your life. You can still have fun, surprise purchases, and little treats. The question is whether those purchases feel aligned with what you want or if they keep pulling you away from your priorities.
A spontaneous coffee with a friend that you remember fondly is very different from a late-night shopping binge that leaves you anxious. You are trying to feel more in control and less reactive.
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Sales trigger a few things at once: fear of missing out, a sense of “being smart with money,” and sometimes old messages like “always buy it when it is on sale.” Your brain starts focusing on the discount instead of the item.
A simple test helps here: “Would I still want this at full price?” If the honest answer is no, the sale is not actually saving you money. It is simply convincing you to spend it in a different way.
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First, be kind to yourself. If shopping is the only place you get comfort, control, or a bit of excitement, of course your brain will keep going there. You are not weak; you are trying to feel better with the tools you have.
The work here is to slowly add other forms of relief: short breaks, comfort rituals, movement, connection, or hobbies that are not tied to spending. You do not have to give up shopping overnight. You can start by inserting a pause: “Let me try one soothing thing first. If I still want to buy after that, I can decide then.”
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There is no exact timeline, but most people notice small shifts within a few weeks once they start:
tracking their mood before they shop
adding friction, like deleting saved cards
making their money more visible with a simple tracker
Every time you pause or choose a different response, you are rewiring the habit a little bit more. A few small, consistent changes will beat one big dramatic overhaul that only lasts three days.
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A strict, complicated budget is not required. What you do need is some visibility and a loose plan. A simple monthly expense tracker can help you see where your money actually goes. From there, a basic budget gives you clear containers for things like bills, goals, and “fun money.”
A budget is not a punishment. It’s a tool that lets you say, “Yes, I can buy this,” or “Not this week,” with more confidence.
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