If you're waiting until life calms down to have fun, read this first
You’d better not be about to point that finger!
A while ago, someone asked me what I do for fun. Not what I do for work. Not what I'm building. Not what I'm learning.
Just... what I do for fun.
Without thinking, I answered, "I do VR boxing."
They laughed. "You box?"
Well... sort of.
I put on a VR headset, throw punches at virtual targets, occasionally dodge obstacles that seem determined to hit me in the face, and somehow manage to finish sweaty and smiling. Sometimes, when I'm in a different mood, I'll switch over to Beat Saber and spend half an hour slicing glowing blocks to music instead.
Could I get my exercise another way? Absolutely.
But that's not why I do it. I do it because it's fun. The exercise is just a bonus.
Nobody in my family wants to join me. Apparently, voluntarily getting punched by virtual objects isn't everyone's idea of a good evening. Their loss.
For thirty or forty minutes, I'm completely present. I'm not thinking about work. I'm not mentally organizing tomorrow's grocery order or wondering if I remembered to answer that email. My brain gets a break because it's busy trying not to miss the next target.
That little pocket of fun does more for me than I ever expected.
We keep treating fun like a reward
One of the biggest reasons adults stop making time for fun is that we slowly begin treating it like something we have to earn.
We tell ourselves we'll have fun after the house is clean, after work slows down, after the kids are older, after the renovation is finished, after this busy season finally passes.
The problem is that life has an amazing ability to invent another "after." Just when one responsibility clears, another one quietly takes its place. The finish line keeps moving, and the space where fun was supposed to go never quite opens up.
If you wait until life feels calm before making room for joy, you may end up waiting a very long time.
Fun isn't the opposite of being productive
I think we've accidentally put fun and responsibility on opposite sides of the room, as if having fun automatically means you're not getting anything important done, but I've found the opposite is often true.
When I make time for something I genuinely enjoy, I have more patience afterward. I think more clearly. I have more energy to tackle the things I have to do because I've already spent a little time doing something I wanted to do.
I don’t have the gloves, sadly. Just hand-held controllers. Definitely more dangerous.
The funny thing is that my VR boxing is technically exercise. If I'd approached it as another workout I should do, I probably would've quit months ago. Instead, I look forward to it because my goal isn't to burn calories; it’s to have fun. The calories just happen to come along for the ride.
Fun doesn't have to impress anyone
“Fun doesn’t exist to impress people. It exists to remind you that you’re more than your responsibilities.”
One of the easiest ways to lose touch with fun is to start questioning whether your hobbies are useful enough.
Maybe your idea of fun is gardening. Maybe it's baking elaborate cakes. Maybe it's building miniature houses, birdwatching, learning Korean, collecting sea glass, or dancing around your kitchen while dinner cooks.
None of it has to become a side hustle. You don't have to be good at it, and you don't even have to share it with anyone else.
Fun doesn't exist to impress people. It exists to remind you that you're more than your responsibilities.
Start smaller than you think
If your life has felt like one long checklist lately, don't wait for an entire free weekend. Just start with twenty minutes. Play one song on the piano, read a chapter of a novel, paint badly, dance, or build something. Box imaginary opponents wearing a giant headset if that's what makes you lose track of time for a little while.
The goal isn't to escape your life; it's to remember that your life should include moments that make you smile.
Before you go...
When was the last time you did something just because it felt good?
I don’t mean because it was useful or responsible, or ticked a box, or made sense on a spreadsheet somewhere. I mean because, in that moment, it made you feel a little more like yourself.
If nothing comes to mind right away, that’s probably worth noticing. Maybe it’s a small sign that fun has been quietly pushed to the edges of your days. And maybe it doesn’t need a big plan to come back; just a little space you decide to give it.
Michelle Arseneault is a certified life coach and instructional designer who loves helping women understand why life feels harder than it needs to, and what to do about it.
“I believe small, thoughtful changes usually have a bigger impact than dramatic overhauls. Around here, you'll usually find me exploring the psychology behind everyday life, creating practical tools, or asking questions that help you see things from a new angle.”
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