Why improving my home feels so much better than doing chores
I swear my next project is going to be to convince my husband that our kitchen needs to be painted white.
I’ve apparently been nesting. I don’t mean in the “buy some throw pillows and light a candle” sense. I mean, I’ve been attacking parts of my house that have been low-key bothering me for months, and in one case, probably years.
It started with my kitchen cupboards. I pulled everything out, decluttered what we didn’t need, reorganized what was left, and put things back in places that actually made sense. Why? Because I was tired of crossing the room to grab my coffee grounds.
The next day, I deep-cleaned my main bathroom. And I mean deep. I used a toothbrush to get into the little crevices that had been irritating me every time I noticed them. I even steam-cleaned the floor and dealt with the stuff that normal weekly cleaning never quite gets to.
Then yesterday, I tackled the paper pile. Calling it a pile might be generous. It was about three feet high and contained roughly a decade of paperwork we had been putting aside to deal with “later.” Apparently, later finally arrived.
I sorted everything into three categories: things that need to be filed, things we need to take action on, and trash. Then I bought containers for the first two categories so that incoming paperwork has somewhere to go from now on. And today, I want to tackle my husband’s home office.
There’s just one problem. Today is Michelle Day.
Why I have a day when I don't do housework
In our house, everyone gets one day a week when they are off duty. Mine is Wednesday. On Wednesdays, I don’t make supper or make supper decisions. I don’t do dishes. I don’t clean. I don’t take responsibility at all for keeping the household machinery humming along. Other people in my house have their own days off too.
We started doing this because running a home takes work, and everyone deserves some time when they aren’t responsible for noticing what needs to be done next. Usually, I protect Michelle Day pretty fiercely. But today I’m sitting here practically itching to get into my husband’s office and start organizing (I find this incredibly disturbing, by the way).
And that made me realize something. I don’t actually want to do chores; I want to improve my home.
Maintaining your home and improving it feel very different
“I’m not just putting my house back the way it was. I’m changing the way it works. And that is surprisingly energizing.”
Most chores exist to return your house to baseline. You wash the dishes because they’re dirty. You vacuum because there’s stuff on the floor. You clean the bathroom because humans have used the bathroom. And you do the laundry because apparently people insist on wearing clean clothes every day.
You finish the job and, for a brief shining moment, everything is done. Then someone eats something.
Home maintenance never really ends, which is one reason it can feel so draining. You aren’t necessarily making progress, but you’re keeping things functioning. What I’ve been doing this week feels completely different because every project has solved something that was bothering me.
My kitchen cupboards work better now. My bathroom feels properly clean instead of “good enough until next week.” That enormous pile of paper is gone, but more importantly, we now have a system that should help prevent another enormous pile from replacing it.
I’m not just putting my house back the way it was. I’m changing the way it works. And that is surprisingly energizing.
Sometimes the problem isn't that you need to clean more
I think a lot of us look around our homes, see something that isn’t working, and automatically turn it into another chore. The kitchen is always messy, so we tell ourselves we need to clean the kitchen more often. Paper keeps piling up on the dining room table, so we need to get better at putting papers away. Everyone drops their shoes beside the door, so we need to remind everyone, for the 847th time, to put their shoes where they belong.
But sometimes the problem isn’t our willingness to do the work. Sometimes the system is terrible.
It’s daunting, right?!
If paperwork always piles up because there’s nowhere convenient to put something that needs action before it can be filed, telling yourself to “deal with paperwork immediately” probably isn’t going to solve much. If everyone takes off their shoes in the same place every day, perhaps that’s where the shoe storage should be. At some point, the shoes have provided enough data. Listen to them.
This is where taking care of your home intentionally starts to look different from simply keeping it clean. Instead of asking, “What chore do I need to do?” you start asking, “Why does this keep happening?”
A home should work for the people who actually live there
This is particularly relevant to the office I’m currently trying very hard not to touch because it is, I repeat, Michelle Day.
My husband has ADHD. Keeping his home office and studio tidy is difficult for him, and once things start accumulating, cleaning the room becomes even harder. I could go in there and organize everything according to the way I think an office should be organized. It might look fantastic. It also might be completely useless to him.
If I tackle that room, the real question has to be: what would make this space easier for him to use and maintain? Maybe something needs to be stored where he naturally puts it instead of where it is traditionally “supposed” to go. Maybe things he uses frequently need to stay visible. Maybe we need fewer steps between using something and putting it away.
The goal isn't a room that photographs beautifully. The goal is a room that works better for the person living in it. And really, that applies to the whole house.
Pay attention to the friction in your home
I think that’s what I’ve been responding to this week: friction. The cupboard that annoys you every time you open it. The pile you walk past every day while thinking, “I really need to deal with that.” The drawer you have to wrestle closed. The stuff that never gets put away because putting it away is weirdly inconvenient. The room nobody particularly likes being in.
We get so accustomed to these tiny annoyances that eventually they just become part of the background of our lives. Until you fix one. Then you get that wonderful little moment of, “Why did I live with that for so long?”
That feeling has been driving me from one project to the next. Not because I suddenly developed a passion for scrubbing grout or sorting ten-year-old paperwork. I like what happens afterward. My home becomes a little easier to live in.
You don't need to turn your house into another project
There is, however, a danger here. Once improving your home starts feeling good, it would be very easy to decide that every cupboard, drawer, closet, and room now needs your immediate attention. That sounds suspiciously like taking something energizing and turning it into another obligation. No, thank you.
I’m enjoying this because I’m following what bothers me rather than working my way through a giant household checklist. I notice something. I decide I’m ready to deal with it. I make it better. Then I enjoy the result.
There’s no schedule telling me that this week is “linen closet week.” There is no 47-point home organization plan waiting for me. I’m not trying to achieve some imaginary state where my entire house is perfectly organized and stays that way forever. I’m simply paying attention to how my home feels to live in.
Where is there friction? What keeps annoying us? What have we been tolerating because fixing it seems harder than living with it? And is there something I could change that would make everyday life a little easier?
Those questions are proving far more useful to me than a chore list. Because keeping a home clean matters. Maintenance matters. Somebody still has to wash the dishes.
Just not me today. It’s Michelle Day. And that office will still be there tomorrow.
Michelle Arseneault is a certified life coach and instructional designer who loves helping women understand why life feels harder than it needs to, and what to do about it.
“I believe small, thoughtful changes usually have a bigger impact than dramatic overhauls. Around here, you'll usually find me exploring the psychology behind everyday life, creating practical tools, or asking questions that help you see things from a new angle.”
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